On Being Fat...

I don’t quite get SocialCam.  Why do you want people in your newsfeed to know what you are watching – especially when it makes it possible for others to consider you shallow?  Several people I know have been enjoying S*&@ Fat Girls Who Think They’re Hot Say.”  The watching of this video offends me.  Granted, I do not know the motivation behind the viewer, but the mere existence of the video is off putting.  It turns those who are fat into, “The Other” – a group worthy of gazing at or even stigmatizing.  Most importantly, the other is to be officially considered a cultural unit one is not a part of.

            I am fat.  I don’t hate myself for it as many think I should.  Sure, at times I wish I could walk up multiple flights of stairs more quickly or that I could buy those adorable dresses at White House/Black Market which opened last week at Columbia Mall!  However, I simply enjoy eating.  I don’t feel the insane pressure to order a salad when I am out to eat with female friends.  I would prefer to not assure everyone that I skipped breakfast and lunch as I fill my plate at an evening barbecue. 

            The older I get the more I feel the need to defend this cultural group I am a part of.  I felt so redeemed when a professor told me that obesity is the new trait we have decided to demonize in America.  Of course, my journey to confidence has been complicated and ongoing.  Growing up, it did make life hard.  I blamed my weight for my fate as a single high schooler.   (Man – I wish I had a dollar for every close guy friend I crushed on who said, “You are going to make some guy so happy someday.  You are funny and nice…”  “Hello idiot! “ I always wanted to shout.  “I could make you happy if you weren’t such an asshole.”)  I considered it the reason I did not get into a sorority at MU.  (I had a 4.0, was captain of the debate team, president of STUCO, and VP of Drama Club.  The president greeted me at EACH house I went to and I got NO call backs after the second day.)  I flat out had a manager at Steak n Shake tell people I couldn’t wait tables (which is where the real money was) because he won’t hire anyone for the floor who needs a large shirt.  But now I am able to realize all those people had a problem with my size, I didn’t.

            Sometimes I think that fat people are one of the groups it is universally acceptable to “dog on” in public because being overweight is considered one’s own fault.  This may or may not be true.  Many of us have multiple reasons for why we look the way they do.  Though I can’t help but think that except for a handful of acquaintances, everyone I know has a bad habit that contributes to issues with physical or mental health.  Some of us just don’t have to wear them everywhere we go.  And… being fat is just one aspect of overall health.  For those who are keeping track, I have a cholesterol reading of 140, perfect fasting blood sugar and an average blood pressure of 120/70.   (Okay that doesn’t really add to my overall point; I am just rather proud of these stats.) 

            We all are the whole sum of our parts.  If I was not who I am WHOLELY, I would not be married to Sephus.  (Who for the record, is an angel for glancing my way despite my size and for once responding to an asinine comment I made about how a friend of ours is probably glad that her boyfriend lost weight by saying, “I HOPE NOT!”)  If I got into a sorority at MU, I would not have gone through college with four of the best friends a girl could ever ask for.  Finally, if I had not been teased from first grade on, I am not sure I could be a kind shoulder to students who are ridiculed for their size, income, intellectual abilities or anything else that makes them feel like “The Other”.  For overweight kids who have confided in me, I do try to stress the importance of working out regularly, and making healthy food choices along with our indulgences but what I really want to tell them is this: we are not the problem, society is…