This is 36 by
Danielle Johnson
Inspired by This is 45 by Emily Mendell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-mendell/this-is-45the-eye-of-life_b_4648004.html
This is 36… the
trenches of growing up. Thirty-six is
when you no longer feel like you’re just playing house. The newness of “on your own” has worn off a
bit, but firsts still linger around every corner. You still get to decide what’s for dinner and
what time you go to bed and when to shower and brush your teeth, but you have
to decide what’s for dinner, can’t stay awake anyway and showers become
increasingly less optional. The
responsibility you longed for is here with a vengeance at 36.
Thirty-six is sitting
in the car a little longer than you need to after daycare pick-up because
walking in the house means emptying the dishwasher, packing lunches and bath
night. It’s staring across the table at
your third grader and seeing a brief glimpse of her toddler self in her face
and knowing that each of these chores is a gift that will be missed one
day.
Thirty-six is softball night, and gymnastics night, and
dance night, and Taekwondo night and trying to somehow work a balanced meal in
more often than you don’t. Thirty-six is
trying to squeeze in a chapter of Harry Potter after homework and before bed
because reading it again out loud is almost as much fun as reading it at two in
the morning the summer you had no responsibilities.
Thirty-six is still getting to call your mom everyday, but
sometimes doing math with anxiety. How
old will my kids be if my parents make it to their 80's? 70's? But
then again they could make it to
90 or 100? Thirty-six is knowing what an
immeasurable blessing it is that your Grandma knows each one of your babies and
they know and love her. Thirty-six is
not having talked to your mother-in-law in 10 years and imagining how much joy
she and your children would have brought each other.
Thirty-six is when those who entertain you and care for you
and serve you are suddenly your age or younger and that makes you feel older
than a 20th high school reunion planning session could ever make you
feel. Thirty-six is downloading Snap
Chat but deciding it’s really more trouble than it’s worth and “why don’t
people just text each other?”
Thirty-six is wishing you no longer cared when you got left
out or friendships changed but the teen trapped inside still battles against
the confidence and logic of 36-year-old you.
Thirty-six is also realizing that a few people you can always count on
will always mean a million times more than followers and likes.
Thirty-six is knowing that you still have a lot of life left
to live and changes to see. Thirty-six
is excitement about what lies ahead with the best yet to come.
This is thirty-six.
This is the life I chose and would choose again.
